My Wellness Drawer

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

 By Adam Brady

The following seven steps can be used to help you navigate the rough waters of dealing with a negative person. They can be used independently or in sequence, depending on what the situation requires. Interactions with difficult people are dynamic and there is no one quick fix for every situation. Also, note that these suggestions focus primarily around changing your perceptions of the relationship rather than trying to change the behavior of the other person.

1. Use the S.T.O.P. Model to Avoid Reactivity

This acronym can be the most fundamental step in coping with a difficult personal relationship. S.T.O.P. stands for:

  • Stop whatever you’re doing
  • Take 3 deep breaths
  • Observe how your body feels
  • Proceed with kindness and compassion

No matter how challenging the difficult person or relationship is, this pause will help to derail the emotional reactions that are primed to take over in the heat of the moment.

2. See Through the Control Drama the Other Person Is Using

Control dramas are manipulative behaviors that people often fall into when their needs aren’t being met. There are four primary control dramas:

  • Being nice and manipulative
  • Being nasty and manipulative
  • Being aloof and withdrawn
  • Playing the victim or “poor-me” role

Control dramas are frequently learned in childhood as a strategy to manipulate others into giving you what you want. Interestingly, many people never outgrow their primary control drama or evolve to higher forms of communication.

When you witness one of these control dramas playing out in a difficult person, you can automatically become more understanding. Imagine the person you’re dealing with using the same control drama as a child. From that perspective you realize that this individual never learned another way to get their needs met and, as such, is deserving of your compassion. This simple and profound shift in perspective can take the entire relationship dynamic in a new direction.

3. Don’t Take it Personally

When you’re involved with a difficult person, it can feel like their words are a deliberate personal attack. This is not the case. Their reaction and behavior is not about you; it’s about them. Everyone is experiencing reality through personalized filters and perceptions of the world and your behavior is a direct result of those interpretations. A difficult person’s point of view is something that’s personal to them. In their reality, they are the director, producer, and leading actor of their own movie. You, on the receiving end, play only a small part in their drama.

In a similar manner they are possibly only bit players in your drama, so you can choose not to give the bit players of your life control over your happiness. If you take the situation personally, you end up becoming offended and react by defending your beliefs and causing additional conflict. In refusing to take things personally you defuse the ego and help to de-escalate a potential conflict.

4. Practice Defenselessness

This can be a powerful strategy when confronted with a difficult person. Being defenseless doesn’t mean you’re passive—you still maintain your personal opinion and perspective in the situation—but rather than engaging with the intention of making the other person wrong, you consciously choose not to be an adversary.

Being defenseless means you give up the need to be the smartest person in the room. You ask your ego and intellect to sit this one out and proceed with an open acceptance of the other person’s position. You don’t have to agree with their perspective (or even like it). The point of this process is to compassionately suspend your need to defend a particular point of view. An interaction with a difficult person doesn’t have to turn into a heated debate. Oftentimes, the other person simply needs to be heard. By allowing them to express themselves without resistance, they can fulfill that need and perhaps become more amicable. Establishing defenselessness creates space that allows for a more a compassionate and peaceful interaction.

5. Walk Away if Necessary

Difficult people can often draw you into a field of negativity. If you feel like you can’t maintain your awareness and objectivity, there’s nothing wrong with removing yourself from the situation. A toxic exchange can leave you feeling physically depleted and emotionally exhausted; if the above options aren’t helping you deal with the difficult person, walk away. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone; there’s no need to martyr yourself on the relationship battleground. You may have the best intentions for the exchange, but sometimes the most evolutionary option is to consciously withdraw from the interaction. This isn’t about winning or losing, it’s about stepping away from a toxic environment that’s dampening your spirit. Detach from the situation and trust the universe to work out the resolution.

6. See the Experience as an Evolutionary Opportunity

As challenging as it is, dealing with a difficult person can be a learning experience. Relationships mirror your inner world back to you and help open your eyes to those things you may not want to see. The qualities in another that upset you are often those aspects of yourself that you repress.

Recognize the petty tyrant in your life as a teacher who can help you learn what you haven’t yet mastered. Better yet, see in this person a friend who, as a part of the collective consciousness of humanity, is another part of you. As Ram Dass reminds says, “We’re all just walking each other home.” When you can see a difficult person as an ally on the journey you’re traveling together, you’ll be ready to answer the telling question, “What am I meant to learn in this situation?”

7. Resonate Compassion

Compassion is an attribute of the strong, highly evolved soul who sees opportunities for healing, peace, and love in every situation. Even when faced with a difficult person, compassion allows you to see someone who is suffering and looking for relief. Compassion reminds you that this person has been happy and sad, just like you have been; has experienced health and sickness, as have you; has friends and loved ones who care for them, like you; and will one day, grow old and die, just as you will. This understanding helps to open your heart to embrace a difficult person from the level of the soul. If you can think, speak, and act from this perspective, you will resonate the compassion that lives at the deepest level of your being and help you to transform your relationships.

Difficult people can challenge your commitment to spirit, but by practicing these steps you can respond reflectively, rather than reactively, and hopefully take your relationships to a more conscious level of expression.

PorcupinesShopenhouer, a pessimistic philosopher used this beautiful story as a metaphor to explain human relationship.

A number of porcupines huddled together for warmth on a cold day in winter; but, as they began to prick one another with their quills, they were obliged to disperse. However the cold drove them together again, when just the same thing happened. At last, after many turns of huddling and dispersing, they discovered that they would be best off by remaining at a little distance from one another. In the same way the need of society drives the human porcupines together, only to be mutually repelled by the many prickly and disagreeable qualities of their nature. The moderate distance which they at last discover to be the only tolerable condition of communication, is the code of politeness and fine manners; and those who transgress it are roughly told–in the English phrase–to keep their distance. By this arrangement the mutual need of warmth is only very moderately satisfied; but then people do not get pricked. A man who has some heat in himself prefers to remain outside, where he will neither prick other people nor get pricked himself.

Kelly McGonigal about StressStress. It makes your heart pound, your breathing quicken and your forehead sweat. But while stress has been made into a public health enemy, new research suggests that stress may only be bad for you if you believe that to be the case. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal urges us to  see stress as a positive, and introduces us to an unsung mechanism for stress reduction: reaching out to others in this TED Talk.

By Kim Eng

Our natural state is love. So, it’s only to be expected that children come into this world anticipating love. Most children, however, are not born into a family that demonstrates unconditional love, but, instead, one that is crying out in pain. This is a family made up of what I call “wounded souls”.

When we ourselves are wounded, we raise wounded children. A passage in the Old Testament says that the sins of the father will be passed down from generation to generation (Exodus 20:5). Until we are ready to awaken and begin to experience our natural state of love, we continue to pass along a lack of consciousness to our children, our families, our friends, and our co-workers. In other words, the more wounded we are, the more suffering we cause ourselves and others.

We are human beings. This implies, as Eckhart says, that there are two dimensions to who we are: the human and the Being. The human dimension consists of the physical body and the conditioned mind, plus the emotions that accompany it. However, without awareness or presence – which is the dimension of Being – our humanness assumes a complexity that rapidly becomes dysfunctional. In this way, an oversized ego develops, obscures our Being and creates a false sense of identity.

The dimension of Being is formless. We may call it spirit, consciousness or awareness. Raising conscious children requires aware or conscious parenting. So there are, I would say, two aspects to conscious parenting: the human development and the unfolding of Being. Telling your child to tidy their room, do their homework, helping them with schoolwork and answering their questions to the best of your ability… all this is to do with your child’s human development. The human, which Eckhart also calls “doing”, is, of course, necessary, but it alone can never lead to lasting happiness without the realization of Being, which is the realization of who or what you are in your essence.

The Being unfolds to a true expression of itself, like a flower gracefully unfolding its petals. Both these dimensions, human and Being, need to be acknowledged and supported in a child’s life.

When we forget who we are, and the people around us have forgotten who they are, how can we expect our children to remember who they are? It’s vital that we remind ourselves and our children who they are at their core. Here’s one way to help your child remain in or regain connection to their Being. Take a walk in nature and share that experience fully with your child. Breathe the air, smell the scents, look and listen to the sounds, and be with nature without labelling your perceptions. Labels deaden our ability to connect with the essence of nature, which is life. The essence of nature is also the essence of who or what we are – the Being within.

Most of the time, we interact with children only on the human level rather than on the level of consciousness. This “lack of Being” creates further separation from their true nature, which they cannot sense. When we realize that human and Being are one, our relationships with our children can change. As we realize that their primary destiny is the flowering of their Being, their human development is put in its rightful place, as a necessary, but secondary aspect to their upbringing. 

 

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie The danger of a single

Don’t miss ‘The danger of a single  story‘ – a heartwarming, mind-opening talk. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s story will change your vision of the world forever.

 

By 

There’s no question that regular exercise is essential to health. For the vast majority of our evolutionary history, we’ve had to exert ourselves — often quite strenuously — to get food, find shelter and simply survive. We naturally spent a lot of time outdoors in the sun, walking, hunting, gathering, and performing various other physically-oriented tasks. We had no concept of this as “exercise” or “working out.” It was just life.

posture-pictures-bad-posture

This are different today. Most people in modern societies spend the majority of their time indoors, sitting on their butts (like you’re probably doing right now). The typical U.S. adult is sedentary for 60 percent of their waking hours and sits for an average of six hours per day (and often much more, in the case of those who work primarily on computers). In fact, being sedentary is now the norm and exercise is primarily seen as an intervention — something we do to guard against the negative impacts of a sedentary lifestyle.

An Epidemic of Sedentary Behavior: The Perils of Too Much Sitting

This increase in sedentary time and decrease in physical activity has profoundly impacted our health. Too much sitting is associated with numerous problems, ranging from weight gain, to osteoporosis, to cardiovascular disease. For example, research has shown that:

 

  • Sitting decreases the activity of an enzyme called lipoprotein lipase (LPL), which helps burn fat.
  • Too much sedentary time decreases bone mineral density without increasing bone formation, which raises the risk of fracture.
  • Excess sitting increases blood pressure and decreases the diameter of arteries, both of which make heart disease more likely.

 

Even worse, too much sitting could shorten your life. Studies in the U.S.CanadaAustraliaand Asia have all found an association between increased sedentary time and the risk of early death. These associations were independent of traditional risk factors such as smoking, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, waist circumference and diet.

The “Active Couch Potato”: Why Exercise Isn’t Enough

I’m sure this isn’t news to you; most people are aware that physical activity is essential to good health. But what you may not know is that too much sitting time is harmful even if you’re getting enough exercise.

This means you could be meeting the recommended guidelines for exercise (i.e., 30 minutes of moderate to vigorous activity, five days a week), but still be at higher risk of disease if you sit for long periods each day. In fact, a large study involving over 100,000 U.S. adults found that those who sat for more than six hours a day had up to a 40 percent greater risk of death over the next 15 years than those who sat for less than three hours a day. Most importantly, this effect occurred regardless of whether the participants exercised. Some research even suggests that people who exercise intensely (like marathon runners) are more likely to be sedentary when they’re not exercising. They may assume that their training regimen protects them from the harmful effects of too much sitting when they’re not exercising. It doesn’t.

In industrialized societies, this “active couch potato” phenomenon has become the norm rather than the exception. If you work in an office, commute by car and watch a few hours of TV each night, it’s not hard to see how you could spend the vast majority of your waking life (up to 15 hours!) sitting on your butt. This is far outside of evolutionary norms for humans, and has serious consequences for our health.

Move Like Your Ancestors: Become an “Organic Mover”

We’ve established that 1) too much sitting is harmful, and 2) exercise alone isn’t enough to reverse the harmful effects of too much sitting. It follows, then, that for optimal health we should reduce sitting time and increase “non-exercise” physical activity. The best way to achieve this is by embracing what I call “organic movement”: incorporating physical activity throughout your day in addition to performing distinct periods of exercise. This mimics the ancestral pattern of activity that humans are biologically and genetically adapted to.

In general, I recommend standing or walking for at least 50 percent of the day, and not sitting for more than two hours at a time without taking a short standing or walking break. If you work in an occupation that involves sitting for long periods, here are a few ways to accomplish this:

    • Work at a standing desk. Many employers permit this now, and more will follow once they understand the potential benefits in terms of reduced absenteeism, lower health care costs and higher productivity in their employees.
    • Work at a treadmill desk. If you want to take a standing desk to the next level, and you work at home or have a progressive employer, try a treadmill desk. (I use one of these in my home office, and it has changed my life. Read this post for more info.)
    • Walk or bicycle to work. This isn’t always possible, but with a little creativity it often is. If you live too far away to walk or ride exclusively, consider driving part of the way and walking or cycling for the remainder.Take
    • a standing or walking break. Stand up for at least two minutes every hour. If possible, take a brief walk or do some light stretching. Even short breaks like this can make a big difference. If you have trouble remembering to do this, try setting an alarm on your phone each time you sit down again, or use an app like Time Out(Mac) or Workrave (Windows).
    • Stand up at meetings. If you’re worried about what your colleagues might think, just tell them you have a bad back!
    • Sit more actively. Sitting inactively in a chair isn’t the only way to sit. Consider sitting on a yoga ball for periods of time instead of a chair, or place an “active sitting disc” on your chair and sit on that. Both of these options will force you to make small postural adjustments while you’re sitting, which mitigates some of the harmful effects of being sedentary. These micro-movements can add up to a significant expenditure of calories throughout the day.

Now I’d like to hear from you. Have you taken steps to reduce your sitting time? If so, what benefits have you noticed? If you’re still sitting for long periods each day, how might you take steps to increase your activity?

 

Long before we knew about recommended daily allowances for fats, carbohydrates, and proteins, we listened to our taste buds to determine which substances were edible and how much of them to consume. Ayurveda teaches that satisfying all six tastes at every meal can ensure that all major food groups and nutrients are represented, as is the case in most of traditional ethnic dishes.

Here is the table to help us come back to ‘senses’.

Food tastes Chopra

Combining this with knowledge about ‘The coloured gifts of nature’ could make us even more ‘sensible’.

Fabric softeners are meant to soften synthetic fabrics and reduce static cling. Most standard fabric softeners and dryer sheets contain noxious scents and chemicals such as quarternary ammonium compounds, which release toxic chemicals like formaldehyde into the environment. Formaldehyde causes a variety of serious allergic reactions including rashes, respiratory conditions and neurological disorders. Even eco-friendly fabric softeners are loaded with chemicals and fragrances that may cause a unacceptable reactions and may have a negative impact on your health.

Formaldehyde-free doesn’t mean safe

Although newer, “green”, products no longer include formaldehyde-containing chemicals, they are infused with other dangerous ingredients such as alpha-terpineol, camphor, benzyl acetatelimonene, ethyl acetate, pentane, benzyl alcohol, and chloroform. These products may help reduce static cling in your clothes, but at what cost? They also contribute to a long list of potential serious health problems ranging from nausea, vomiting, asthma, allergic skin reactions, liver and kidney disease, cancer and central nervous disorders, notes the Guide to Less Toxic Products, the website of the Environmental Health Association of Nova Scotia. Long-term use of fabric softeners and dryer sheets may contribute to chronic chemical over-exposure, building up slowly in the system, according to the US National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health.

Allergic reactions

Use of laundry softeners may produce a variety of skin problems and the user may not recognize that they are related to exposure to dryer sheets. Itching, yeast infections, hives, rashes, cracking and dryness are all possible side effects from exposure to the topical effects of fabric softeners. In May 2000, Anderson Laboratories released a study in the “Journal of Toxicology and Environmental Health,” reporting that five common products used in dryer sheets emit the the chemicals styrene, phenol, toluene, thymol, xylene and trimethylbenzene. The study was performed on mice, and indicated that their entire upper respiratory systems were compromised, limiting airflow and normal respiration.

Fragrance fog

Many fragrances used in dryer sheets are considered toxic to humans, reports The Guide to Less Toxic Products; and may contribute to developing cancer, asthma, kidney, and brain damage. Other symptoms resulting from the fragrances used in all fabric sheets including eco-friendly brands, include headaches, coughing, dizziness, vomiting, and a range of upper respiratory difficulties. Artificial fragrances have a potent effect on the nervous system potentially causing depression, hyperactivity and other behavioral problems. Chemical additives including fragrances can be especially harmful to children and unborn fetuses.

Alternatives

Options besides commercial dryer sheets are available for reducing static cling in fabric and offer a safer way to do the laundry. Dry natural fabrics separately from synthetics. Natural fibers don’t develop static. Don’t allow clothes to dry completely in the dryer. Remove them while they are still slightly damp and hang them on the line to finish drying. The longer they remain in the dryer, the more static is developed. Line drying helps to prevent this from occurring. Green America suggests pre-soaking clothes in 1/2 cup of baking soda for 10 minutes if you have hard water. Baking soda acts as a natural fabric softener. Use natural laundry soaps with soy-based fabric softeners. Chose products that are scent free and have no dyes to limit any influence these chemicals may have. Make your own dryer sheets by soaking a small cloth in 1 tsp. of hair conditioner and allow it to dry. Toss in the dryer with clothing to remove static. Add 1/2 cup white vinegar to the rinse cycle before the wash is completed to soften clothes. Use chemical-free dryer balls to fluff fibers and remove static cling.

Read full story

The preservative – known as MI – is used in a wide range of shampoos, moisturisers and shower gels as well as make-up and baby wipes.

But dermatologists warn people are being exposed to much higher doses than before, leading to a steep rise in allergies known as contact dermatitis where the skin becomes red and itchy and can sting and blister.

Experts say the chemical is second only to nickel in causing contact allergies. One in 12 adults and one in five children in the UK now have eczema, of which contact dermatitis is one of the most common types.

MI, which is short for methylisothiazolinone, is a preservative which is also found in paint. It is added to products to prevent unwanted growth of bacteria and yeasts

Read whole article

Although melamine dinnerware seems incredibly convenient—with it’s bright colors and nearly unbreakable design, why risk your or your children’s health?

Melamine resin is a tough plastic that can be found in children’s dinner sets, many picnic sets and those noodle soup bowls you see on high rotation in food courts.

On its own, the compound melamine is toxic to human health. Ingested at high concentrations, it can damage the kidneys, as was the case in 2008 in China when six babies died and 50,000 others were hospitalised after being fed baby formula contaminated with melamine.

But what does research have to say about the risk of exposure from melamine resin bowls?

A recent study from Taiwan showed that people who consumed hot soup, which was 90 degrees Celsius when poured into a melamine bowl, did excrete small amounts of melamine in their urine, indicating that melamine from the soup bowl had been absorbed into the body.

If you and your family use melamine dishes, never put hot food on them. It is also the condition of melanin plates and bowls that matters. They probably have lots of hairline fractures or scratches even if you never put them in the oven or microwave.

Is it really worth the risk? Traditional dinnerware is surely  safer alternative and environmentally friendlier.

 



  • None
  • wartica: I can attest to this; eating garbage food , always lead me to eat more - all because I was lacking real nutrients . Great post and I look forward to s